Living A Nightmare

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I cry myself to sleep at night
Wake up at two, no sign of light
There’s still so many hours to go
There’s still many demons to fight

I try real hard but nothing takes
Memories break open the gates
Gushing in with an unseen force
Bringing my nightmares in their wake

I gasp for hope to no avail
Lungs faith deprived, all senses fail
Try to hold on to something real
Helpless, blinded, darkness prevails

I sense a glimmer up above
With all my might I push and shove
Knew in my heart you’d come save me
And fill my life with endless love

I rub my eyes, the vision’s clear
You’ve gone too far, no hope is near
These demons are now destiny
With that I shed a single tear

I stare into infinity
To see what life would really be
These scars that I have on my soul
Are your one parting gift to me

I only have dark thoughts to keep
Death’s quite a ways, waters too deep
With nightmares on ‘Play. End. Repeat.’
I cry myself right back to sleep

Yousuf Bawany – August 2015

Final Thoughts

Beauty aside, my tears won’t lie
Left on the floor waiting to die
Wonder if any would miss me
Or step on me and just walk by

– Yousuf Bawany, June 2016

Living A Nightmare – Free Verse

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Living A Nightmare
I cry myself to sleep
Only to wake up
A few hours later
The sky’s still dark
I turn to your side
Extend my hand
To feel your warmth
But all I feel is
The cold mattress
Hasn’t been slept in
It all comes back
The dam breaks
Feelings gush
Suffocating me
The undercurrents
Drown me deeper
Into the abyss
I try to escape
Come up for air
But unable to
Lungs filled with
Memories past
It really hurts
Knowing that
The hands who
Should’ve saved me
Are the same ones
Choking me now
There’s plenty left
Of the cruel night
No end in sight
My nightmares
Embrace me fondly
And yet again
I cry myself to sleep

– Yousuf Bawany, August 2015

The Dark Side of Love

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What a day to die
Sun so bright
Spring in the sky
In retrospect
How foolish was I
To think that love
And only love
Would save me
From self-destruction

I look up
One last time
Thinking about the love
That seemed true
But really wasn’t
My sincere feelings
Used and betrayed
Like napkins and rags
Stains that won’t wash
Etched forever
On my once pure soul
Now void of emotion

Turns out
It was love
Eating away at
My very being
Slowly sucking
The life out of me
Supposed to save me
But ironically
Brought upon
My ultimate annihilation

Till We Meet Again

Goodbye, more often than not, my friend
Means going through heartache and pain
The finality of a goodbye I can’t digest
Just pushes me under a lot of strain

It crushes all hopes of ever seeing you
And kinda starts driving me insane
Parting ways with someone I cherish
Losing everything, with nothing to gain

I’m not giving up by saying “Goodbye”
My last words sure won’t be in vain
I’ll say “Take care, sweet friend o’ mine
Godspeed, so long, till we meet again”