Twitter is one of those things that grows on you. I have always been a man of many words so the 140 word limit is a bit intimidating. Once you get the hang of it though, it helps compose your thoughts more efficiently.

Here are some of my old tweets for your reading pleasure.

1. Love conquers it all, except a forgotten anniversary. It’s a battle you lose even before you begin fighting. :p
2. I don’t like the way you #Tweet me. Everyone has the right to be #Tweeted equally. :p
3. Only powerful people have opinions that are heard. What we commoners say doesn’t even matter. #SocialInjustice
4. After having two kids of my own, I finally understand why parents are more tolerant than ‘regular’ people. Baby vomit on shirt? No biggie!
5. We’re afraid to miss (or be late for) a doctor’s appointment but we blatantly disregard Allah’s appointments (namaaz) everyday.
6. You simply cannot ‘Like’ a death-in-the-family status. #EpicFail #FaceBook
7. I’m running an average of 80 kms daily at approx. 76.5 kms/hr but still not losing any weight. #TempleRun2 is no help whatsoever.
8. Don’t get intimidated by the barbed wires life spins around you. Think how to break-free & shine like the light you were always meant to be.
9. Watching your 6-month old son go to sleep in your arms is perhaps the best feeling in the world! #ThingsMoneyCantBuy
10. Those in the lime light wish to run away from it all; the rest of us wish we were in their place. It’s a #MadMadWorld.
11. Had an annoying are-we-there-yet moment with my two-year old daughter; I was #Shrek and she was #Donkey! 😉
12. It would be really interesting to read what people ‘almost’ write as a status or a comment, then delete it just before posting! 😉
13. Your five-month old rips a loud one in a room full of people and you know the it-was-him-not-me look isn’t working. #Awkward
14. An issue you won’t find being discussed between Pakistani friends: “Are you and your parents close?” #LoveYourFolks
15. It’s time to lose weight when the plastic armchair you’re sitting on gets stuck to you when you get up. #HarshRealities
16. If only we’d stop fighting for our rights and start giving others theirs, this world would be a much better place. #LifeLessons
17. Funny how things NEVER seem to turn out the way you want them to; life is still worth living! #DishingOutInspiration
18. Politics has a way of sucking you in, whether you want to or not. #HatePolitics
19. #MashaAllah. The feeling I get when my almost-four-month-old son bestows me with a smile cannot be put into words. #Priceless
20. Burning a bridge is easier than building/repairing one. Make sure you think twice before breaking ties/hearts. #SpreadTheLove
21. My #daughter comes up behind me, puts her arms around my neck, #kisses me thrice and asks, “Maza aaya?” (Did you enjoy it?). Masha Allah.
22. It’s disrespect when your kids use your first name to talk to you, but not when it’s your 21-month old daughter. ‘Youtuf’ loves you sweetie.
23. Sometimes, what we say is what we don’t mean; those are the times we break hearts. Don’t hesitate to #Apologize if you think it’s worth it.
24. The written word has a longer lifespan than you and I, so why not leave a lasting imprint? #Twitter #WordPress
25. The joy in your daughter’s voice as she screams ‘Papa’ the moment you ring the door-bell; #Priceless
26. Seeing your 2-month old son look into your eyes and smile for the first time; #Priceless
27. There are two things that should NEVER be delayed: (1) doing a good deed, and (2) apologizing to someone you truly love/respect
28. Whenever there’s a strange smell in the room, why does everyone automatically assume it’s the #FatGuy?
29. Stabbed in the heart while being robbed in my own home, trying to protect my wife. How very chivalrous of me?! #NightmaresAndDreamscapes
30. Beauty Magazines: the more you read them, the more you realize how pathetic your un-photoshoped body/face is! 😀
31. The purest form of #love is what a parent has for his child; no conditions, no expectations, no strings attached!
32. very #Pakistani is a Political Analyst with a potential for hosting a great #talkshow; if only profanity were allowed on Public Television!
33. When a #TV character does something bad and tries covering it up, you know it’ll bite him/her in the butt within the next 5-7 episodes!
34. There are some #questions in the world no one can answer; for everything else, there’s #Google!
35. #Ramadan is not just about giving up food and drink for a prescribed amount of time; it’s about moderation, preservation and self-control.

Follow me on @YousufBawany for more insanity.

Cheers,
Yousuf