Confessions of a Chocoholic

Chocolate – the mere mention of this word sends shivers down my (our) spine(s). You cannot even begin to imagine the lengths people go to to get their favorite high. If you dig through the history books, I’m sure you’ll come across at least a dozen wars that were fought for the love of chocolate – if this is not the case, then all historians are bloody liars. People idolize TV stars and scientists, but I personally am a huge fan of Willy Wonka’s – heck, I’d even settle for one of the Oompa Loompas (don’t care if they are real or not – Santa’s got fans, for crying out loud).

Being married for less than a month now, you’d picture me thinking about my beloved all day long. This holds true for most of the time I spend away from her, but when I crave chocolate, I only fantasize about holding one in my hands and square-dancing with one, then taking the wrapper off slowly, enjoying every little tearing sound, and then biting into it like there’s no tomorrow – who cares how many calories it has? And oh, the things I’d do to a chocolate bar on the Titanic – you’d forget all about the infamous Jack-and-Rose move on the bow with their hands spread on either side, pretending to fly. With a chocolate bar in my hands waiting to be unwrapped, I’m invincible. A great man once said to the love of his life, “Everything I do, I do it for you” – I’d say the same to a chocolate bar (“I’d fight for you, I’d lie for you, walk the wire for you, but I won’t die for you……”).

I’m sure by now you are all vouching for my insanity; fortunately for me, I’m not the only one. What follow, are a few exceptional quotations by chocolate lovers around the globe:

  1. Forget Love, I’d rather fall in Chocolate
  2. Stress wouldn’t be so hard to take if it were Chocolate-coated
  3. Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is?
  4. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t even need and appointment!
  5. I’m a person of many moods and they all require Chocolate
  6. There is no Chocoholics Anonymous because no one wants to quit
  7. Money talks but Chocolate sings
  8. Equal parts of dark Chocolate and white Chocolate make a balanced diet
  9. I never met a Chocolate I didn’t like; wish I could say the same for all the girls in my life

If these don’t get your juices flowing, nothing will. So go grab a bar (or pack) of your favorite chocolate and get ready to indulge in some velvety brown (or white – depending on your drug of choice) awesomeness – delayed gratification never felt so good now, did it?

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